In health class we were given sheets of paper and told to write a message we would want someone of the opposite sex to know
She read some examples
The girls were like: “Hey can you please not treat me like shit”
The boys were like: “Spray tans look ugly I hate when girls wear too much makeup and don’t lead me on.”
i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
For those of you who don’t understand archaeology, I have made a diagram.
ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore
you sound fannytroubled
a little bootybothered if you ask me
someone’s having a little tushytantrum
isn’t it weird as hell that you can think someone is the coolest person on earth and at the exact same time they can hate themselves
Hitler flirting with Eva Braun.
I don’t know how this makes me feel
It makes me feel very uncomfortable
You know what’s so uncomfortable about this? It shows that perhaps one of the most evil men in history, was a human being. That, on occasion, he could be nice, even flirty. That’s not all. You want to see evil people as evil, screaming horrible stuff over a desk with 20 microphones with 20, 000 people saluting them. The evil is clear and recognizable then. This shows a completely different image, it scares you because that means that evil isn’t a stereotype, that evil is not recognizable, that evil could be anyone. It scares you because this shows that could be lurking inside anyone and you’ll never ever know. Maybe in you?
fun fact: me in the white shorts
fun fact: me in the gray shorts kissing the cutest boy in the world
Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
Too fantastic not to reblog. Especially if you love Shakespeare. -H
